Vivi swans around Menu 11

Sunday was the Super Bowl. Curiously, the three adult women watched the game. The Brother stuck his head in the room occasionally; Boy-child got excited and bored and ran outside to play his own game of football; and Girl-child, somewhat predictably, preferred her Princess video game to the Match of Champions.

We all participated in the Nacho pig-out, however. No Cordon Bleu that night.

I made the vegetables on Saturday, actually. They weren't that difficult (although did use every pan in the house). I only made the leeks, and carrots, and green beans instead than cauliflower. I used canned rather than fresh winter tomatoes, and halved the marinade recipe. The leeks were surprisingly good, and of them all, those are the ones I'd happily make again.

The sole was excellent, as I expected it to be. I have made something like it before, without the extra butter-lemon sauce. I have not completely mastered sauteing at high heat without burning the butter, however. Had to go through two butter melts, and filled the main floor with burnt greasy smoke.

My swans. I don't know why, but they did not puff in cooking -- the pastries in the photo are all about 1.5 inches long (you can see how long and graceful the swan's neck is -- the recipe called for an S shape 2 inches long). Not only were they almost too small to manipulate, they were heavy in texture. I'm sad about this, because the gruyère puffs cooked perfectly, and I had really been looking forward to the playful form of the dish.

My chantilly cream was stiff peaks when I beat it, but it softened before I got to the assembly, and the whole thing was a sweet but soupy mess. But the swans, delicate and tiny, were pretty.

So I made two swans only, and turned the rest into éclairs. Because the pastry didn't puff, there was no air holes to squeeze cream into, so I just spread it between pastries and hoped the chocolate would camouflage the mess.

Here are the possible reasons the pastry didn't puff: I could not get the dough to the point described: "shiny and the dough slowly drips off the spoon in a point". I added almost the full 4 eggs called for, and finally gave up when it was shiny and the dough slowly dripped off the spoon in a sort of roughly pointy thick glop.

So: too much egg? Not beaten hard enough? Too dry (needed more egg?) Cooked too fast on the stove? (Perhaps the element was too hot.) Or was it that I used insulated cookie sheets, so the heat distributed evenly, when it shouldn't have? Is pàte a choux trickier than I realized, and hard to make on a rainy day with high humidity? Or am I just a bad pastry chef -- I certainly have had some disasters this last month or so.

Lesson 11: Preparing sole, marinated vegetables

Petits Légumes à la Grecque
(Marinated vegetables with lemon and coriander)

Sole Belle Meunière
(Pan-fried sole with nut-brown butter and mushrooms)

Cygnes Chantilly
(Choux pastry swans)

Cooked about Sunday, February 3, 2008

Geezer and Son Strangled with Piping Bag - Details On News at 10

The Bride's Statement to the Police:

OK, I knew it was SuperBowl Sunday and I even thought about doing the Cordon Bleu menu later in the week. But, the Geezer doesn't follow football and The Son of COG, when consulted, said to go ahead with the meal. It sounded good, he said, and we had to 'eat something.' I did not,then, hear the hollow echo of faint enthusiasm in those two words, though I hear it now.

Later, when The Son began to prepare nachos - thereby, interrupting the 2 separate bakings of the two sorts of swan parts - I should have listened to the inner promptings of my heart and stopped. And when he asked that the meal be delayed until 8pm, to give the nachos time to digest, I should really have stopped.

But no, unwisely, I continued. I had completed Legumes a la Grecques (using a Jacques Pepin version of the recipe which was simpler) earlier in the afternoon. But the choux pastry, with the piping and baking and assembly of the several swan parts took a lot longer than you'd think.

In all, I was in the kitchen cooking for about 3 hours (not counting the Legumes). I was alone all that time, except when The Son made his nachos (which were delicious, btw) and a bit later, when the Geezer came in to tell me that he had ordered a new lens for his camera and to express annoyance that dinner was delayed till 8, because he needed to eat sooner. So I agreed to cook a separate meal for him and to prepare the Son's later, as already negotiated. The COG came into the kitchen once more to ask when dinner would be ready and to pour himself a drink. I said under 15 minutes and he left again, with the drink.

I baked the swan parts, let them cool and then cut the bodies and wing bits into the correct order, and, then, cooked the mushrooms and the potatoes before beginning the fish. The preparation of the fish was straight-forward. The fish (which were fillets- couldn't get them whole) cooked quickly and I put plates out for the COG and myself, and called him to dinner. When he didn't come after a few minutes, I sat down and ate by myself.

Just as I was finishing my fish, the Geezer appeared and wondered why I hadn't waited for him. The Geezer ate his cold fish by himself, while I went to prepare and plate The Son's dinner and take it to him in the tv room. And then to finish the swans.

At about 8:15, The Son brought his plate back into the kitchen, explaining that he was too full to eat it and would have it tomorrow for lunch. At this point I was piping whipped cream into the swans and assembling them. The Son asked why I hadn't waited until after 8 as we had agreed, to prepare his meal. I pointed out that it was after 8 and The Son replied that I had actually served him at 7:55.

Continued for a few more minutes to pipe the Damn Swans, then decided it was pointless to continue. I took a picture of my swans (or loch ness monsters) and went to my computer to look upload it. Thereafter, checking my email, I found something the COG had forwarded to me while I was cooking. It was entitled 'The Minimalist Guide to Housework,' from the Zen Habits blog.

After that, everything went black. I have no memory of what I did with the piping bag or what happened to the COG and the Son.